The meeting of the Men's Club

Raspberry Picking

We made it out to Butler's Orchard on Sunday to get some fresh fruit on (sort of) the cheap. They still have raspberries this late in the season! (Apples are coming online as well, but we didn't find any we liked).

Elijah rode in the Ergo and did NOT take a nap. Fascinated by the bushes, the berries and his mother's off-key singing that would not stop, he stayed awake through the experience. Overall, he seemed to enjoy his first berry-picking trip. Here are some pics:

Elijah's Astrological Chart!!

Our sister Tammy does astrology readings - check out her website at Pixie Gypsy! (She also creates gorgeous paintings like the one you see on the left, and the much loved piece you see in our living room). She made a full astrological chart for Elijah!! We went over the very complete chart with her today and learned some exciting things about his stars. :) She told us all about the planets and their influences, but lacking her expertise ourselves we are just going to try to summarize.

He is a Leo which apparently should make him very generous, extroverted and friendly. He should be able to easily attract people, affection and wealth - according to the star placement so far. He is (somehow) under the influence of the Leo sign twice, making him a bit of a perfectionist in everything, and highly competitive. She thinks we should definitely be entering him in competitive sports to get this energy out! His perfectionism also comes from being under the influence of the Libra sign - in work, in love and in friendships. We expect some very high-quality girlfriends later on, basically. :) Can't wait.

Tammy said that with the extrovertedness provided by Leo, his moon placement makes him an introvert, creating a bit of a paradox within. So he will want to be with others and yet want to be alone at the same time; will both be very self-confident and yet doubt himself. Well, at least we won't have a cocky kid. Or, at least, not all the time. :)

He is supposed to have a very detail-oriented, detective-type mind which is very sharp and will make it challenging to hide Christmas presents, our many dark family secrets or our many R-rated movies, among other things. :) He is also supposed to be very work-oriented, seeing work as the driver in his life and attempting to attain perfection at his work. At the same time, he will yearn for creativity and will enjoy music or arts. Combined with his drive and competitiveness, Tammy told us that martial arts will be a perfect pursuit for him to learn balance, applied creativity and persistence with patience.

And, Tammy also mentioned that something about his South Node in the stars (which apparently indicates where someone came from) says that he was a person of high position in his past life - a king, a CEO, an emperor, a president. Well, this all fits together with the Tiffany place settings he has been getting. On another hand, his North Node (which indicates where he is going) says that he may have a hard time seeing who he truly is or determining what he wants to be happy.

To deal with this child in the future, she recommended we research Positive Discipline and Non-Violent Communication. And martial arts. We are thinking of learning martial arts just to protect ourselves from this kid at this point!! :)


It was awesome of her to do this for us, and it will be fun to watch how these predictions unfold. Now we have it all written down, so he can look over it when he is older and adjust his attitude to the stars. :) Thanks so much to our wonderful astrologer Tammy!! If you would like an astrology reading yourself, or wish to look into getting one of her paintings, drop her a note on www.pixiegypsy.com :)

The mysterious ways of the Wombat

Since 3am: feeding him, carrying him, changing his diaper, unswaddling him, putting on a different outfit, putting him down, picking him back up - everything works for 15 minutes, and then he wants a change of scenery. He watches the sunrise out the window (5:30am), falls asleep for 20 minutes on my shoulder (5:45am), wakes back up (6:05am) and appears bright eyed and bushy tailed (the entire night).

So, at 7am, I finally put on my clothes, decide to put him in the sling and start with my day. I set him down for one second, get the sling ready, turn around and see.... this.


[Sigh....] Coffee anyone? :)

I love the New Yorker.

This is not a political blog. But then again, this is also just too good to miss out on:

My Gal

by George Saunders September 22, 2008

Explaining how she felt when John McCain offered her the Vice-Presidential spot, my Vice-Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, said something very profound: “I answered him ‘Yes’ because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink. So I didn’t blink then even when asked to run as his running mate.”

Isn’t that so true? I know that many times, in my life, while living it, someone would come up and, because of I had good readiness, in terms of how I was wired, when they asked that—whatever they asked—I would just not blink, because, knowing that, if I did blink, or even wink, that is weakness, therefore you can’t, you just don’t. You could, but no—you aren’t.

That is just how I am.

Do you know the difference between me and a Hockey Mom who has forgot her lipstick?

A dog collar.

Do you know the difference between me and a dog collar smeared with lipstick?

Not a damn thing.

We are essentially wired identical.

So, when Barack Obama says he will put some lipstick on my pig, I am, like, Are you calling me a pig? If so, thanks! Pigs are the most non-Élite of all barnyard animals. And also, if you put lipstick on my pig, do you know what the difference will be between that pig and a pit bull? I’ll tell you: a pit bull can easily kill a pig. And, as the pig dies, guess what the Hockey Mom is doing? Going to her car, putting on more lipstick, so that, upon returning, finding that pig dead, she once again looks identical to that pit bull, which, staying on mission, the two of them step over the dead pig, looking exactly like twins, except the pit bull is scratching his lower ass with one frantic leg, whereas the Hockey Mom is carrying an extra hockey stick in case Todd breaks his again. But both are going, like, Ha ha, where’s that dumb pig now? Dead, that’s who, and also: not a smidge of lipstick.

A lose-lose for the pig.

There’s a lesson in that, I think.

Who does that pig represent, and that collar, and that Hockey Mom, and that pit bull?

You figure it out. Then give me a call.

Seriously, give me a call.

Now, let us discuss the Élites. There are two kinds of folks: Élites and Regulars. Why people love Sarah Palin is, she is a Regular. That is also why they love me. She did not go to some Élite Ivy League college, which I also did not. Her and me, actually, did not go to the very same Ivy League school. Although she is younger than me, so therefore she didn’t go there slightly earlier than I didn’t go there. But, had I been younger, we possibly could have not graduated in the exact same class. That would have been fun. Sarah Palin is hot. Hot for a politician. Or someone you just see in a store. But, happily, I did not go to college at all, having not finished high school, due to I killed a man. But had I gone to college, trust me, it would not have been some Ivy League Élite-breeding factory but, rather, a community college in danger of losing its accreditation, built right on a fault zone, riddled with asbestos, and also, the crack-addicted professors are all dyslexic.

Sarah Palin was also the mayor of a very small town. To tell the truth, this is where my qualifications begin to outstrip even hers. I have never been the mayor of anything. I can’t even spell right. I had help with the above, but now— Murray, note to Murray: do not correct what follows. Lets shoe the people how I rilly spel Mooray and punshuate so thay can c how reglar I am, and ther 4 fit to leed the nashun, do to: not sum mistir fansy pans.

OK Mooray. Get corecting agin!

Thanks, Murray, you’re fabulous. Very good at what you do. Actually, Murray, come to think of it, you are so good, I suspect you are some kind of Élite. You are fired, Murray, as soon as this article is done. I’m going to hire someone Regular, who is not so excellent, and lives off the salt of the land and the fat of his brow and the sweat of his earth. Although I hope he’s not a screw-up.

I’m finding it hard to concentrate, as my eyes are killing me, due to I have not blinked since I started writing this. And, me being Regular, it takes a long time for me to write something this long.

Where was I? Ah, yes: I hate Élites. Which is why, whenever I am having brain surgery, or eye surgery, which is sometimes necessary due to all my non-blinking, I always hire some random Regular guy, with shaking hands if possible, who is also a drunk, scared of the sight of blood, and harbors a secret dislike for me.

Now, let’s talk about slogans. Ours is: Country First. Think about it. When you think of what should come first, what does? Us ourselves? No. That would be selfish. Our personal families? Selfish. God? God is good, I love Him, but, as our slogan suggests, no, sorry, God, You are not First. No, you don’t, Lord! How about: the common good of all mankind! Is that First? Don’t make me laugh with your weak blinking! No! Mercy is not First and wisdom is not First and love is super but way near the back, and ditto with patience and discernment and compassion and all that happy crap, they are all back behind Country, in the back of my S.U.V., which— Here is an example! Say I am about to run over a nun or orphan, or an orphan who grew up to become a nun—which I admire that, that is cool, good bootstrapping there, Sister—but then God or whomever goes, “It is My will that you hit that orphaned nun, do not ask Me why, don’t you dare, and I say unto thee, if you do not hit that nun, via a skillful swerve, your Country is going to suffer, and don’t ask Me how, specifically, as I have not decided that yet!” Well, I am going to do my best to get that nun in one felt swope, because, at the Convention, at which my Vice-Presidential candidate kicked mucho butt, what did the signs there say? Did they say “Orphaned Nuns First” and then there is a picture of a sad little nun with a hobo pack?

Not in my purview.

Sarah Palin knows a little something about God’s will, knowing God quite well, from their work together on that natural-gas pipeline, and what God wills is: Country First. And not just any country! There was a slight error on our signage. Other countries, such as that one they have in France, reading our slogan, if they can even read real words, might be all, like, “Hey, bonjour, they are saying we can put our country, France, first!” Non, non, non, France! What we are saying is, you’d better put our country first, you merde-heads, or soon there will be so much lipstick on your pit bulls it will make your berets spin!

In summary: Because my candidate, unlike your winking/blinking Vice-Presidential candidate, who, though, yes, he did run as the running mate when the one asking him to run did ask him to run, which that I admire, one thing he did not do, with his bare hands or otherwise, is, did he ever kill a moose? No, but ours did. And I would. Please bring a moose to me, over by me, and down that moose will go, and, if I had a kid, I would take a picture of me showing my kid that dead moose, going, like, Uh, sweetie, no, he is not resting, he is dead, due to I shot him, and now I am going to eat him, and so are you, oh yes you are, which is responsible, as God put this moose here for us to shoot and eat and take a photo of, although I did not, at that time, know why God did, but in years to come, God’s will was revealed, which is: Hey, that is a cool photo for hunters about to vote to see, plus what an honor for that moose, to be on the Internet.

How does the moose feel about it? Who knows? Probably not great. But do you know what the difference is between a dead moose with lipstick on and a dead moose without lipstick?

Lipstick.

Think about it.

Moose are, truth be told, Élites. They are big and fast and sort of rule the forest. Sarah took that one down a notch. Who’s Élite now, Bullwinkle?

Not Sarah.

She’s just Regular as heck. ♦

Our first dinner out WITH BABY!!

We boldly go to Jaleo and enjoy dinner! With a one-and-a-half month old!! Who is AWAKE! Here is the video evidence for those who doubted us - a baby AND a life! Take that! :)


First dinner out with Wombat from Olya on Vimeo.

Bismarck and Elijah

Elijah and Bismarck from Olya on Vimeo.

Our supercalifragilisticexpialidocious babysitter

Who needs Mary Poppins?  :)

If

“If”

By: Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!