Someone please shut me up

Last Thursday, when Wombat and I were checking out of daycare at the front desk, the front desk ladies were making cute faces and waving at him. I hoisted Wombat slightly higher on my hip, with his face level to mine. The younger girl behind the desk looked at us and said "You are getting chunkier and chunkier!" I chuckled and asked "Who, me or him?".

Daycare front desk attendants do not have a sense of humor.

Especially when their boss is standing behind them.

The girl turned beet red and gasped as though wounded. She then proceeded to shriek at a pitch no doubt heard by dolphins off of the west coast: "No not you ohmygosh you are so tiny no no I would never why on my no no no you no, him! HIM! HIM!!". Her boss furrowed her brow and decided to apologize to me as well. I think she was seconds from assuring me that this will never happen again. I, having no idea how to remedy this, said "It's ok, it's ok, I'm just kidding". This remark somehow assured the ladies that I was definitely NOT kidding, and they restarted their apologies again.

I left before I could screw something else up.
The next time I'm about to make a joke, someone please kindly knock me out.