Wallaby Birth Story

He was born on December 10, at 7:28am.  Made it in the nick of time.

I showed up at the hospital the day before, about an hour late for my induction, properly stressed about the whole thing.  Inductions are dangerous.  They increase the risk of ending up with a C-section.  They can be rushed and cause distress in the baby.  And they really suck in terms of pain.  Wombat was induced, and being hooked up to pitocin machine felt like someone knocked the wind out of you and then kept punching you repeatedly.  I was hoping to avoid induction with Wallaby, but there we were, week 42 rapidly closing and no sign of labor, and therefore, no choice.  With Wombat, I was at my wits end for how to delay induction another couple of days, and was very upset to have to go to the hospital and be messed with.  This time I didn't stress out as much as the first time: I kind of came to terms with it, and also I was just busy.  I ran out of the house an hour late after setting everything up for my parents to stay with Wombat and finishing up last-minute work items.  My Mom laughed and said that I was talking about giving birth the way you'd talk about going to a store "OK, I'll just run out and deliver the baby real quick, and then I'll be back and we can think of what to buy to cook next week...."

So I got to the hospital an hour late, got checked in, and after a while a midwife came by and offered some words of encouragement.  I didn't get my hopes up much, thinking that I've played this game before.  With Wombat, the induction started off on Cervidil, which did get contractions started.  Unfortunately, the contractions were not coming fast enough - they just started early labor, and they were getting more intense but not very quickly.  The midwife with me at the time suggested to try walking around to get them to pick up.  Determined to avoid pitocin at all costs, I made a big lap in and around the hospital, running all over the place, and got myself really tired just to get back and find out that contractions still have not become productive.  Midwife insisted on pitocin.  Pitocin was very ouchy.  I was already exhausted.  (No one tells you that to make it through pain you have to be well rested.  It takes a lot of energy and mental focus to deal with pain, it turns out.  If you are tired, your focus will be the first to go, and as soon as it leaves, you are done for).  After a few hours of feeling like drowning under pain, midwife said things still were not moving as fast as she'd like and told me we needed to break my water.  I asked for an epidural at that point.  Wombat was born soon after that.

So this time around, I was determined to not get myself tired out because, I told myself, let's face it - chances were pitocin was coming.  I was going to go through the whole Cervidil thing, have it (probably) start mild contractions again, then buck up and try to ride out the pitocin as long as I could.  It was important to go into it rested.  Midwife said "Sometimes with the second child, Cervidil does wonderful things, you never know".  That would be nice.

I got checked in, went to the birthing room, and on the first check, the midwife declared that I was at 4 centimeters.  This meant that I must have been having some contractions of my own and not feeling them!  This also meant that Cervidil had no point.  4 cm is as far as it will get you, and if you are already there, it will do nothing.  We decided to wait until morning; if nothing would happen, we'd start Pitocin then.  The monitor showed contractions.  I stared at it in disbelief.  The midwife suggested to strip the membranes to try to hurry things up.  We did.  I really still didn't think this was labor.

And then contractions came! They were very mild at first.  I walked around a little to try to get them to intensify, or at least to stay; I was really careful to not get tired out.  But they stayed! They became regular!  They came every 6 minutes and lasted 1-2 minutes each!  "Look at you!" said the nurse. By 11pm, I decided that I should go to sleep - I needed to be rested to handle labor, natural or pitocined.  So I fell asleep.

Contractions woke me up at 3am.  I've never been so happy to have something hurt in my life. I walked around my room to try and make them stay, or get more intense faster.  I was afraid that just like the last time, the contractions will be pronounced "not good enough".  By 5am they definitely became good enough for me; they took all of my concentration to get through. At 5am, I asked the nurse to call my midwife.  The contractions would come fast and really hard, and I was starting to feel the urge to push.  The nurse checked me and said we were at 6cm.  I remember saying that with contractions coming this fast, I really hope the midwife is not driving from Olney.

The contracitons on pitocin are very different from contractions you get on your own.  I know there are medical professionals who say that pain in natural labor and pain during induction are comparable.  I would like to punch those professionals in the face.  I don't know how to explain it, but contractions you get on your own do not cause you to go into panic.  They really hurt, but they somehow feel right at the same time.  It's possible to relax into them if you focus.  It's a lot of pain, but it doesn't cause you to tense up or get stressed out by it.  On Pitocin, relaxation was impossible and I felt panicked.  (This made me wonder if somehow natural oxytocin can cross the blood-brain barrier and shut off your fight-or-flight reaction, and synthetic oxytocin (pitocin) can not?) I would moan and grunt my way through contractions with Wallaby, and in my mind be perfectly calm.  I could hear myself make noise and sometimes it sounded like a song I'd sing to Elijah at bedtime; like a sad slow lullaby for the baby. 

 It did get bad enough a couple of times that I thought of getting an epidural.  What stopped me was remembering how, with Elijah, epidural made me loose all feeling of the baby moving (duh, I know).  It really freaked me out at the time; after 9 months of having the kid tumble around, suddenly you feel nothing.  All you have is the baby heart monitor, and you can no longer help the baby get through contractions by moving to be more comfortable yourself.  I hated that feeling.  So this time, when I thought of getting the epidural, I told myself "You won't feel the baby anymore if you do.  You won't be able to walk around with him if you do. "  So I didn't.  If the contractions took longer though, I probably would have caved.  

I don't know how much time passed between calling the midwife and the midwife arriving, but when the midwife got there she said we were at 9cm and it was pretty much time to push.  When she said that, I said "Really?"  She said "We are going to have this baby".  They started warming the bassinet, unwrapping the blanket, getting the lights, the whole thing, and in my head I just kept thinking  "Really? No, really?"

Really.  I'm not sure how long I had to push, but it didn't feel like very long.  It's weird: when it's time to push, if you try to hold it, the pain is really bad.  But if you do actually push, then it doesn't hurt!!  Crazy, but true.  It was a bit of pushing, and changing positions, and the baby was almost out (according to eyewitnesses at my rear end), but not out.  The midwife and nurse suddenly looked worried and, with no explanation and in very strict voices commanded to me that the baby has to come out.  Now. Then they shoved an oxygen mask on my face.  This breathed a lot of new energy into me in addition to oxygen, and I seriously started to push, contractions or no contractions.  And he came out.  And made a lot of noise immediately.  Poor kid. It turned out that he was facing the wrong way: toward my back, not toward my front.  I didn't have back labor, but apparently him facing the wrong way makes it hard, and sometimes impossible, to push him out.  The narrowest side of the head is the forehead, and when the baby faces your back, you have to get a wider side of the head out first.  Sometimes that's not possible, and when that's the case, they have to C-section the kid out.  They can't wait very long, because the umbilical cord is compressed in the birth canal, and the baby will become oxygen-deprived if he doesn't emerge quickly.  That was why my midwife and nurse had the very worried looks on their faces.  Thank lord Wallaby was able to come out.

After that bit of a trip down the birth canal, Wallaby was letting everyone have a piece of his mind, and I wanted to feed him.  They put him on my chest for a little bit, but then the midwife declared that she needed to do the stitches.  I couldn't feed the little one because I was twitching as she was doing it, so he ended up having to shriek for food for what felt like an eternity while she was doing her needlework.  As soon as she was done and Wallaby could eat, he fell asleep and slept the sleep of the just.  And I was so, so happy.  Happy that my baby was ok.  Happy that I delivered a kid all on my own, with no drugs messing with my baby and me.  Happy that he made it in the nick of time.  And really thankful to some higher power that made this happen.

Once he was fed, and washed, and swaddled, we moved to our Mother-Baby room.  It had  a window, and behind the window was the first snowfall of the year.   Beautiful, soft, gigantic snowflakes were rushing to the ground in the morning twilight, and Ingy and I stared at it for a while like it were a present.  "See", we said to Wallaby, "first snow of the season, just for you on your birthday".  He slept through it. :)

Nathan is here!

World, meet Nathan! He was born on 12/10/10, at 7:28am. December 10 also happens to be his grandpa's birthday, so I guess he really wanted to be the main gift. This gift will be hard to beat next year. (Coincidentally, the due date was on grandma's birthday).

After much deliberation, we named him Nathan Gabriel. Iggy looked at him and decided that he sort of looked like a Nathan. We really like the meaning of the name - "a gift from God". And this way both kids have Hebrew names, a matching set. (Iggy pointed out that it would be historically ironic to have one kid bear a Hebrew name, and another be a Roman. Ha.)

Nathan was born with blue eyes, chestnut hair (lots of it) and light skin. At 7 lbs 13 oz, he's about a pound bigger than Wombat at birth. So far, brothers are getting on ok. Elijah is very good with the new addition and is very concerned for baby's well being. He is also concerned with the baby taking any of his toys, but so far that's not in the cards.

And here we are, again.

My due date was November 27.

In surprise to.... no one, the baby has no intention of coming out on that date.  Or any date around that date.  Therefore, just like with Wombat, the midwives have launched their "WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE POST-DUE" offensive.  As part of that exercise, I sat through a no-stress-test yesterday.

I'd like to mention that the no-stress part refers strictly to the baby.  The mother can get pretty stressed out by the test, and that's ok.  Like, for example yesterday, when Wallaby decided that the test is a great time to take a nap after some vigorous kicking exercises.  For the uninitiated, the no-stress-test is when they strap a monitor to your belly to check how often the baby is kicking (and how his heart rate does when he kicks).  If the baby does not kick enough (whatever enough is, I'm not sure), then you have failed the test.  I know. It's just like high school Presidential Fitness Test, but in utero.

Wombat was nice enough to kick like mad during the entire 20 minutes.  Granted, he spot-kicked the monitor, but still, he was nice enough to kick.  Wallaby, as I said, decided to ignore the test altogether and took a nap, which prompted the midwife to make a concerned face and send me to the hospital for a "semi-emergency" biophysical profile on the baby, just in case.  Of course, as soon as I sat down in the car, Wallaby started moving like a tape of aerobics exercises was playing in my womb in front of him.  Nice.

Anyway, a biophysical means an ultrasound, so I wasn't too against the whole thing.  I really liked getting a picture of Wombat's face when he was 41 weeks, and was kind of looking forward to getting a picture of Wallaby too.  I called husband to join me for this treat, and off we went.  In the hospital, they ran another no-stress-test (which they said worked out fine, even though I swear Wallaby wasn't moving more than at the midwives), and then shipped us off to the ultrasound.

And, as soon as the ultrasound was on, Wallaby did not move.  He was very still.  We had to zoom in on him, and when we zoomed on one of his hands, we saw.... him staring at his fist, folding and unfolding his fingers in a very contemplative manner.  Staring off into the distance.  Very poetic.  The poetic atmosphere was interrupted by the technician, who told me "Can you make him move, because if he doesn't, they'll keep you in the hospital".

I assumed "they'll keep you in the hospital" meant "they'll C-section this baby out of you", rather than, say, "They'll keep you and feed you lunch", so I became very motivated and sat up.  I've noticed that sitting up squishes Wallaby and he begins to squirm.  It worked, until he settled down again and (I assume) stared at his other hand unfolding.  Or something.  Finally, we got enough movement out of him to declare the biophysical a success, got our report and left.  Whew.

With the no stress test and the ultrasound (biophysical) behind us, now we wait.  Just like before.  Except hopefully not as long as before.  Next Monday is another no stress test, and 9th is the induction (with the 10th being the expected latest date of birth).  I don't know if we'll make it that long though; unlike Wombat, I think I am getting some contractions with this one already and the baby is riding lower.  I think he is going to head for the exit once he has finished doing long division using his fingers or whatever it is he is working on in there.

This experience makes me a little bit concerned about this kid's personality, I must say.  Wombat is cooperative.  Very.  Other than forgetting what his due date was (or possibly just being too busy with his personal womb beautification projects), he has cooperated the entire time and continues to do so.  Not Wallaby, it appears.  I think this will be the child that will have me going to the principal's office, explaining his latest shenanigans while he stands there angel-faced wearing an expression of deepest piety.

Names: The Final Showdown

In case you are just joining us, I'm very pregnant.  Like, a month away from the due date today.  Now, we have been through this once before and we know that most baby stuff is overrated. There is very little that babies (newborn) actually need, except for Mom and a blankie and a binkie.  Seriously.  (Mom, on another hand, needs quite a few things, of which a case of wine is the most important).

But there is one thing all babies need.  A name.

We don't have one of those.  Still.  This is officially an emergency.

Here is our final list of names, with all we think of them.  Both first and middle names are probably going to come from this list, but.... which ones?!

Gabriel

We really love this name.  However, it has issues.  Or may be it's just us who have issues and the name is really fine.  We feel that it's too soft.  Too effeminate.   We like soft names for boys (Elijah, for example :), but we also like to give the boy a way to masculinize it.  Elijah can be easily shortened to the macho "Eli".  Gabriel has no such options.  The only nickname is Gabe, which is hardly masculine and (we think) doesn't sound very nice.  In online forums, many Gabriels say that often people expect to see a woman when they see their name written because... apparently Americans can't distinguish between Gabriel as masculine and Gabrielle as feminine?    And, as a final insult, the default tease for Gabriel is, of course, "Gay Gabe" which can't be fun whether you are gay or straight.  Actually, it's probably worse if you ARE gay.  Sigh.

But!  All of those name reviews are from people named Gabriel who are now adults.  When they were little and named this, Gabriel was not a popular name - but it is now.  It's number 25 in the US and climbing the charts.  There will definitely be multiple Gabriels in school, and may be (just may be) teasing someone with "gay" epithet is finally becoming really socially unacceptable?  Hopefully?  Is it getting to be taboo?  Several of our friends, when we said "Gabriel has an obvious tease option" responded "huh? what would that be?".  Are they right and are we overthinking it, or are they just adults and we still think like playground 3rd graders? Because we are good at that.  Sadly, events of recent weeks seems to suggest that harassing someone because of sexual orientation, or using sex-orientation insults to humiliate is still alive and well.  May be Wallaby's generation can make such bigotry as taboo as insults based on gender or race have become now.  But do we want to bet on that?  I'm not sure.

Anthony

Hm.  Overall good name, but we are not crazy about the nickname "Tony" that comes with it.   Also, I'm partial to "Antonio" variant of the name, because I think it sounds HOT and is a great way to be introduced to girls in bars (or boys! either way!).  But Antonio Flores does sound (while HOT) like you just crossed the border yesterday.   And it would still have the nickname "Tony" (or "Tony-O"?) that we don't like.  The Russian variant of this name is Anton, so we would be good in that department.  Anthony is currently name number 10 on the charts, and is always popular, so.... is it too bland?  It's also a name that's hard to tease.... there isn't really much you can come up with.

Simon

Iggy loves this name.  I hated it at first, and now it's growing on me just a little bit, but I'm still not sure.  It just feels so... nerdy.  In my head, Simon has to be a bookish type for some reason, and online reviews seem to say the same.  I think it might be hard to overcome the image that lots of people associate with this name.  On the bright side, though, there is no nickname (except for Si, i guess) and it's an easy-traveling, easy-to-spell name (except in Spanish, where Simon gets to be Si Mon to the delight of every 3rd grader on the playground).  All the potential teasing would involve nursery rhymes and old TV characters which, again, is not so bad.

Dante

We both really like the name, but it's heavily African-American right now, and also (according to sports teams rosters) seems to be heavily jock-inclined.  Our Wallaby is not going to be either.   There is, of course, the original Dante Allegheri, which is a bit more our speed.... but would Wallaby constantly be defying expectations by being a white, not-too-jocky (probably) type of guy?  Would this name fit? 

There is also no Russian (or any other language) equivalent - the name is quintessentially Italian.  Everyone the world over knows about it, thanks to Allegheri, but still.... other names travel better.  As far as teasing goes, this one is not easy to tease and is a pretty cool name overall.  It's not at all popular in the charts right now, so it will definitely stand out, and it should be equally at home at a bar or at a boardroom.  We think. You can definitely be a jock or a poet with it, but you do need a bit of flare to rock this name.  Will Wallaby have what it takes to own it and pull it off?

Roman

This was the first name that we sort of liked.  It has everything going for it - no nickname, sort-of-trendy with its '-an' ending, sounds sufficiently masculine and yet can be worn well by an artsy type.... it's all there.  Even has a Russian equivalent - it's exactly the same name in Russian, just place the accent on the last syllable instead of the first.  Not to mention that, when pronounced that way, the name (in French, Russian and loads of other languages) also means "A Novel" (as in a book). Swoon.  How romantic and intellectual.

But.... the latest association with this name is Roman Polanski.  Not so good.  Of course, Wallaby's generation will have no clue who Polanski was, and so it's probably ok.... but still has a bit of a bad taste for right now, no?  Also, Roman begins to sound like an adjective as soon as you add a middle name.  I mean, "Roman Gabriel" sounds like something you should be sprinkling Parmesano cheese on.  We don't know... this name has all the elements we are looking for, but somehow we just can't get very excited about it.

Well, that's the list.  One thing for sure - we will use the first and middle name to counter balance each other.  So, if the first name is a quirky one like Gabriel we are probably going to go with Anthony to give the kid an all-American "out" option.  If the first name is an all-American one like Simon or Anthony, then we will probably make the middle name Gabriel. 

But what should we pick? What do we do? What does everyone think of our concerns? Are we insane? (don't answer that last one).

Mom and Child

See more pictures of celebrity Moms of old and their kids at Blue Bird Vintage blog.  This, of course, is Audrey. Aaaaaah.

What you can't have

Lately, fashion blogs have been teeming with these pictures. Pictures of gamine and effortlessly chic women and stylish men who have elegance about them that I can never hope to achieve. They probably roll out of bed looking this way. I just have to come to terms with the fact that no little black dress will ever make me look like Audrey Hepburn.  Sigh.

But, at least, Mad Men is back again and Christina and I can certainly fill out all those dresses.  My head is dreaming about Audrey, and the rest of me looks like Marylin.  Or, in my case, Sophia.  Or Anita.   I can't help it. :)

Oh well.  We do look great when in Italy. :)

Stuff I would buy if I had a waist

In what I am sure is a deliberate and targeted attack, the fashion industry is coming out with the most gorgeous pieces of all time for fall. And I cannot wear ANY. OF. THEM. Sigh. They are not in the budget, not really necessary, won't fit at the moment and won't be in season next season. But I am lusting after each and every single one of them.

Isn't this coat from Anthropologie absolutely perfect? Look at the lace detail! The waist! The 3/4 sleeve!!  Also, check out how completely impractical it is! For, um, "only" $168! Oh, just shoot me now.

And for more from Anthropologie, how about these maillots? So elegant and so retro and soooo perfect! My favorite is the green one, and IT'S ON SALE.  Someone with a currently available waist and a chest that doesn't require construction-site-grade support, please buy one already!

(Yes, I know that from this post it appears that I would like to wonder around in a maillot with a coat over it.  Let's chuck that up to the pregnancy hormones and move on.)

So, ModCloth and Ruche are no not letting me down either with all of these dresses up for grabs:

Sigh.  Big, long, lusty sigh.  Ok, back to reality.  I have a shipment of some maternity tops coming and I'm sure they will look just as cute. A-ha.

The last doll

In Russian, there is a saying "First child is the mother's last doll".  I never really got what that meant until now.

My husband and I fawn over Wombat, we revel in everything he does, find all things adorable and delight in all of him.  He got things just because we thought it would be fun to buy them for him and see what he does with them.  He only has to look at something to get it, pretty much.  We are lucky enough to be able to provide him with what he needs and what he wants, and I love that.

I worry a little that it won't be the same for Wallaby.  Everyone says it won't.  The novelty of the baby wears off, and the second one just doesn't get all the ooohs and aaaahs that the first one got just for squirming.  I'll have to try and make sure that Wallaby never feels second; Wallaby will be different and special and, may be, he can be treated like a doll too as we continue to play house. :)

I found this post yesterday on Karen Cheng's blog; I thought it was really funny so I'm re-posting the joke here.  What's kind of cool is that Elijah was never treated as "the first baby" in the joke below - he was treated like the second! I wore my regular clothes for most of the pregnancy, I wasn't too fast about washing things before they ended up in his mouth, and I did sort of skip out on most of "labor breathing" training.  So, I guess, if I just treat Wallaby same as Wombat, I'm on track!


The Evolution of Parenthood
Your Clothes -
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby’s Name -
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favourites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
Preparing for the Birth -
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette -
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
Pacifier -
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering -
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Worries -
1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Activities -
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out -
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home -
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

What's a good name for a Wallaby?

 Now that we know Wallaby is a boy (and we are pretty sure. Just like Wombat, Wallaby left little doubt as to what he is during the sonogram. He might as well have been surrounded with frogs, snails and puppy dog tails).

It took us a while to come up with Elijah's name; we absolutely love it and think it's a perfect name for him, but boy, it was not easy to get. In fact, I think if he had been born a girl we may have still named her Elijah just to not let all that effort go to waste. But I digress.

The point is, we don't have a good, ready-to-go name. So we need to do all that work all over again. We have managed to narrow the name list down to what we think could work. We prefer names that have an equivalent nickname in Russian or at least can be pronounced by Russian speakers. Below is our exclusive name list.

Help us name our Wallaby! Which name do you like best? Or, suggest your own in the comments!

Roman   ("Roman" in Russian)

Gabriel   ("Gavril" in Russian)

Anton     ("Anton" in Russian)

Ivan        ("Ivan" in Russian)

Timothy ("Timophey" or "Timoshka" in Russian)

George   ("Georgiy" in Russian)

Luca       ("Luca" in Russian)

Finn           (Russian has no such thing :( )

Ryan      (Russian has no such thing :( )

Jacob     ("Yakov" in Russian)

Dante       (Russian has no such thing, although Dante Alighieri is quite well-known. :) )

Dominic ("Dimitriy" in Russian would be the closest)

Pictures to prove it

We had our 20-week ultrasound, and all appears to be ok.  This time the baby is actually dated correctly, or at least the ultrasound date matches the due date so good news there.  So.... who wants to guess the sex of the baby?  Here are some more ultrasound pictures below, with one of them a clear illustration of the evidence.  Did I just give it away?

Here we go again

18 weeks.  And, just now, things have started to not belt, tie or sit in their usual places.

Just like with Wombat, this is what finally tells me that it is real. :)

Wombat arrives!!

Wombat is officially here, everyone!  Here are some pictures of the day, the new arrival and the happy parents.  :) 

 

Waking up on Thursday morning

View of sunrise from our window

....

and only 18 hours later.....

 ....

 

  

 

Wombat is here!!

 

  

Dad with Wombat

Once Wombat is born, we are moved to a mother-baby side of the hospital, and get a few hours of sleep.  Later the same morning, we wake up as parents!

 

 

 

 

 

So this is how it's going to go down....

After seeing the midwives today, and everything looking spectacular (once again), they have declared that it is still unwise to wait past next week.

More then anything, it has to do with the comfort level of the doctors on duty at Shady Grove that day. Apparently, the doctor from Simmonds and Simmonds practice on call that Friday is not comfortable with a baby being born that late. Because she is "uncomfortable", we can't deliver that day. Why she is uncomfortable is unclear, as she's never actually seen the pregnancy, but she basically just doesn't want to deal with it. So the next possible day is Thursday.... the doctor on call that day, apparently is either more comfortable or just doesn't care. In any case, that makes Thursday the day of induction/birth. Unless, of course, something happens before then.

Assuming nothing happens before then, we would be going into the hospital on Wednesday night to be induced. With any luck, we won't come to that.... But in any case, Wombat will be born no later then August 7.

Wombat's Biophysical Profile

Today we went to an ultrasound to determine how Wombat is doing and whether he has everything he needs. Apparently, he does have everything he needs and is quite happy with the amenities, which may be one reason why he has not yet come out.

The biophysical profile is intended to evaluate how the placenta and everything else is supporting the baby. It measures the following 5 things on a scale from 0 (sucks) to 2(spectacular):

1. Breathing Movements
2. Body Movement
3. Muscle Tone
4. Amniotic Fluid Volume
5. Placenta & Blood Flow through the umbilical cord.

Wombat would not stop squirming, had great muscle tone, sufficient amount of amniotic fluid and the placenta looked intact. The blood flow through the cord sounded like a waterfall, so good there as well. And we could see him practice breathing, which was really cool - the diaphragm goes up and down, preparing the baby to breathe in air when he is out. So he got high scores all around. His weight appears to be around 7 pounds, which also rules out concerns of him getting too heavy if we wait longer. All in all, this looks to support my theory that Wombat is simply mis-dated and is not due on the 20th but more like on the 30th or so.

Tomorrow, I am seeing the midwives again - for another Non-Stress Test, and further discussion of these results. Hopefully they will let us wait out another week! Go Wombat! For all interested, here are some pictures of the ultrasound:

Face, obscured by placenta on the right side (3D view)

Foot!

We have no idea what the 2 above are.... we think they were supposed to be profile shots, but those are really hard to get with the baby being this big.

Wombat and the No Stress Test

We went to see the midwives today - to put our Wombat through a No-Stress-Test and to avoid Friday's induction. Iggy devised an excellent plan for talking to the midwives, we laid out our argument for why we think the due date they had is wrong, and we went together to talk to them. And - we won, we won, we won! Well, for now. We won a deferrement.

During the NST, Wombat displayed excellent movement and heart rate, and the only stress he showed was in that he, apparently, hated the monitor and target-kicked the thing the entire 20 minutes. Other then that, he was doing fine and seemed perfectly happy. Possibly even entertained.

So it doesn't seem as urgent to induce labor at this point which is good. The induction on Friday is off (yeay!), and our sonogram/biophysical profile is now moved to this Thursday. At that appointment, techs will evaluate the placenta, amniotic fluid and other bits and pieces that are supposed to be supporting the baby. If all of those look good, Wombat will be allowed to stay a little longer (may be until Wednesday or Thursday of next week). If they show deterioration, then Wombat will have to come out Monday or so.

To determine this, we will go back to the midwives' office on Friday morning, to look over the ultrasound results and decide on the actual date of induction. Hopefully, we will be able to show that waiting until the 7th or so (Wednesday) is just fine.

Wombat is on the horizon! :)

Midwives make an ultimatum to Wombat. Wombat has to respond within a week.

I had my 41-week appointment today. The end of this week marks the end of week 41, and apparently, no child will be left behind in anyone's womb beyond week 42. Therefore, there must be a plan for getting the child out if the child himself fails to display the necessary initiative. Today, I was introduced to "The PLAN".

So, basically, they could induce me any time now, except that I don't feel like it. Given that fact, they are going to wait until end of next week - end of week 42. If nothing happens by then, they would really really like to induce. Apparently, babies born past 42 weeks are more likely to end up in the NICU - although it's not clear why. Anyhow, 42 weeks is it. That brings us to August 4th - or so one would think.

Except not quite. Prior to August 4th, a gazillion tests must be conducted to ensure that the baby is doing ok. It's not clear why those tests are conducted, because regardless of their results, the labor would still be induced. I guess they are conducted to rule out emergency c-section? First, the baby would be monitored for 20 minutes, to see if when he moves his heart rate goes up. If that goes satisfactorily, they have an ultrasound test, which tests.... I don't know, whether the baby is still there?! Anyway, after that it's basically time to induce. I suspect the tests are to give the mother-to-be something to focus on, and to harrass the fetus so may be he decided "enough of this!" and will come out.

Well, the first of these tests is now scheduled for the 28th, the second one for the 30th, and the induction would occur on the 2nd - which is a Saturday. ("That would give Dad a weekend with the baby without having to take time off!" said the midwife cheerfully. Yes, convenience is a major factor in this. We schedule all our life milestones around convenient stopping points).

I'll see how the tests go. If they don't show any "fetal distress", then I think I'll push for induction to wait until the 4th or so.... In any case, I suspect we won't get much testing to do - Wombat is not one to take this ultimatum in, um, a fetal position. I bet he will come out just fine.

Baby never heard of the due date

Wombat was supposed to be due on the 20th, and as a true child of two procrastinators, he ignored the date completely. If he does not decide to make an appearance until this Wednesday, the midwife practice we go to will give us an instruction sheet entitled "What to do when your baby is LATE". Oooooh, scary. What oh what do we do?!!!! I say we just keep waiting.

Am I wrong, or isn't it the case that once the kid gets here, he will be here for some time? Or at least so we hope? Why the rush to get him here? If he is not ready, he needs to finish something up in there or whatever, I don't see any reason to rush him. I say he knows what he is doing, and will come out whenever he deems fit. In the meantime, Mommy plans to enjoy a latte and an issue of the New Yorker. Excuse me. :)

Car Seat Installation

We had our Official Car Seat Check done today, by the esteemed Montgomery County personnel.  I expected them to just sort of shake the seat, check the belt and call that done. 

But no!  They were very serious, and very thorough, and very very impressive!  They undid everything we did.  And then they consulted each other and additional resources.  And then they hooked the seat in.  And checked the level.  And taught us how to do it.  And checked the vehicle for other objects that may be harmful to the baby.  And brought out a baby doll (!), showed us how to strap it in, made us try it ourselves, discussed what outfits would and would not be ok for the carseat..... I mean, it was really really impressive.  It made me want to have the baby in that parking lot; I felt these people were so much more qualified then me (or, frankly, some medical personnel I've met....). 

But - the seat is now in, officially approved, and all it's missing is a little Wombat in it.  While you are waiting for that last piece of the puzzle to arrive, here is an interesting car seat effectiveness video from Steven Levitt of Freakonomics fame:

Pediatricians and Hospital Tours

So, the last stage in this Baby Olympics Qualifying Rounds seems to be to pick a doctor, and to visit a hospital. We completed both last week with flying colors - we have a doctor, and we have a hospital, and we so totally have no idea what we are doing now.

The hospital looks great; the new tower is really well done, with very nice rooms and bathrooms. We are preregistered and so can go straight to the maternity ward, where everything is cool, calm and collected; we will not have to sit in the emergency room and be sneezed on while in labor. So good news there.

For pediatrics, we ended up going with the practice, recommended by many coworkers. The pediatrician there turned out to be a Cornell grad as well, so we fully expect to receive the "extra special" service, reserved for fellow alumni only. :) The practice seemed fine (pediatrician was actually able to quote some recent medical studies.... more that a lot of other doctors can do, amazingly). It seems that they are really bent on giving the child every vaccine that has ever been invented. They even vaccinize girls against HPV, which is great for Gardasil making more money, but probably is not the most critical vaccine to be giving just for the heck of it. With how much noise there is now around vaccinations, and especially with having a boy (boys seem to be more affected then girls), I would like to have a doctor who can intelligently pick out and discuss the minimum of vaccinations needed for the baby.

I think vaccines are necessary, and not vaccinating your child at all is, frankly, cheating. The rest of people in our society took the risk of vaccination complications for everyone's collective benefit: to stop a terrible disease. Measles, polio and chicken pox all came close to elimination that way. If you don't vaccinate your kid, you are taking advantage of other people's sacrifice and risk without taking on any risk yourself - you are cheating the system. And if everyone did what you do, the disease would come back in a second. It's not fair play. It's taking advantage of what others have done for you, in quite a selfish manner.

But, at the same time, some vaccines are more crucial then others. I would not dream of not vaccinating Wombat against measles or polio. I might ask for no-mercury vaccine, but he is getting a vaccine. The risk of disease is just so much worse then the risk of vaccine malfunction. But, vaccinating against non-fatal, non-critical sicknesses that seem to just make money for the pharmaceutical companies? I'm not sure if every kid must have every vaccine in the world. I mean, now there's even this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/24/fashion/24virus.html?_r=2&ex=1361682000&en=69f2bd1c2ee5d5ca&ei=5089&partner=rssyahoo&emc=rss&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

Daycare: Wombat seeks adventure! The Grand Finale.

We saw two more daycares this week: Montgomery County Childcare Park Street and Little Acorns Learning Center. We were not impressed with either. In both centers, the tour was very rushed, the administrator didn't do a good job of actually showing off their facilities and could not answer questions in depth, instead referring us to "the materials you get once you enroll." Um, right. The centers were not terrible, just not great.... no waitlist reservation there.

So where does this leave us? Pretty much, no cigar. Right now we are on the following waitlists (in order of our preference):

1. Bright Horizons
2. Children in the Shoe
3. Goddard
4. Little Acorns Learning Center
5. MCC Germantown
(with the last 2 having free waitlists, so we are keeping them as.... safety daycare?)

I called Bright Horizons this week, only to learn that we do indeed have no chance of placing Wombat there this year. 2 infant spots are going to become available in August, only to be promptly filled by parents ahead of us in priority. In addition, the list of parents ahead of us can keep getting longer as new DoE or Federal Government employees want to enroll their kids. I mean, there is always hope. It's possible that somehow they could reach us. But very unlikely. Sigh.

So who knows? Little Wombat might end up being driven to Bethesda 3 days a week, mingling with all those posh kids of diplomats and what not. :) Or he might after all end up at Goddard, insane cost and all, until we find a spot in Bright Horizons for him. Or until he goes to college. Whatever comes first.