The mouse and the cow

Daddy was working late today.



Wombat put his mouse in the school bus with all the pencils and said "Mouse is driving to find Daddy".

I said "Oh, Mouse, Daddy is at work."

Wombat said "Mouse is going to drive to Daddy's work to find Daddy!"

"OK".



Cow decided to come along for the ride. Because he and mouse are friends.



Mouse and Cow needed to drive the bus to Daddy's work, and so they needed to go outside....





.... but then they realized they didn't have jackets. So they couldn't go outside. And they were sad.





Then, they had dinner and felt better.

Wombat Speaks

He started saying "Of course!" instead of "Yes".  He says "I need" instead of "I want", but always adds "Please" at the end.  It sounds very managerial.

At Behinaha (on occasion of BaBa's birthday):

Scene: Benihana chef is making fried rice.  He heats up all ingredients separately, including the egg (splattered to look like a duck); Wombat watches intently and identifies the ducky.  Then, the chef scrambles everything together to make fried rice whole.

Wombat (loudly, with great indignation): He made a MESS!!
Everyone: chuckle
Wombat: (with indignation intensifying): A big, BIG MESS!
Me: It's true, he did.  Well, he made fried rice.  But you are right, fried rice is sort of a mess.
Wombat: (to chef): Clean it up!!

Drawing:

Scene: BaBa and Daddy are drawing pictures under Elijah's supervision.  He is bringing them paper and instructing them on what to draw.
Daddy: (showing Elijah a drawing): Is this good?
Elijah: (critically): A-hem. Hmmm. (turns around and walks away).

Aging
When asked how old he is, Elijah says "Two". When asked how old Daddy and Mommy are, Elijah says "Five".  When asked how old grandparents are, he says "Five".  Obviously, five is an ancient age to two-year-olds.  It occurs to us that his daycare has kids up to kindergarten, so 5 is the oldest age is has met.  We are, basically, pterodactyls from a prehistoric era.

Moodiness:
When something is not going his way, Elijah says "I'm saaaaaaaad".  He then pouts and sometimes plops down into a child's pose.  If you ask "What are you sad about?", he doesn't say anything, just puffs out his lower lip and sometimes says "Mommy also be saaaaaaaad?".  When things go his way again, he perks up and says "I'm happy!"  This interchange is especially heartbreaking when something he REALLY doesn't like happens - like washing hair.  He screams bloody murder each time we wash his hair, and one time, coming out of the tub with his hair freshly washed and his eyes still full of tears, he was sniffling and trying to compose himself and mumbling "I'm happy! I'm happy!".  Oh it just makes you want to give him the world.

And here is the cutest thing of all:


Don't like it from Olya on Vimeo.

It's a Jacket, Stupid.

Scene: Bedtime.

Iggy:  Elijah, it's time to go upstairs.
Elijah: Waaaaaah!  Noooooooo!

Iggy: Well, do you want to sleep down here?
Elijah: Yes.
Iggy: Get ready for bed then.  Where are you going to sleep?
Elijah: (points to a spot on our rug)
Iggy: Where is your pillow?
Elijah: (goes and grabs a small pillow; plops it on the spot on the rug)
Iggy: What about a blanket?
Elijah: (looks all around the room to find a blanket.  There are no blankets to be seen.)

Elijah heads upstairs.

Iggy: Are you going upstairs to get a blanket?
Elijah: Yes.
Iggy: No, no, you can't; you said you want to sleep here so you have to stay here.  If you can't find a blanket, then I guess you can't sleep here and we'll sleep upstairs.
Elijah (after a very, very brief pause): Daddy go get a blanket upstairs!


Iggy and I both silently applaud the kid for running circles around us and figuring out the logical puzzle we are trying to trap him in.  Iggy refuses to go get a blanket for Elijah. Frustrated and upset, Elijah collapses on his chosen spot on the rug.

Iggy (soothingly, grabbing a sweatshirt from a chair and draping it over Elijah): Here, Elijah; here is a blanket.
Elijah (takes a look at what has been draped over him): No! NO NO NO! (Throws sweatshirt off himself, gets up to his full height, holds the jacket like a piece of evidence at a crime scene and says, loudly, with a look of frustration, disbelief and a condescending voice).  THIS! IS! A! JACKET!!!!
Iggy: Let's play pretend that it is a blanket?
Elijah: NO! NO! NO, DADDY, THIS IS A JACKET!!

Iggy and I try not to crack up.  Iggy points at the sleeping bag in the corner.

Iggy: Ok, well, what about this? Is this a blanket?
Elijah: NO!
Iggy: Then what is it?
Elijah: (discovers he has no words to describe a sleeping bag.  But he is sure as anything that the word is not 'blanket'.  Getting more and more frustrated by the minute):  Aaargh... Ummm... YOU SLEEP ON IT!!!

Iggy and I redouble our efforts not to crack up.  Wombat is clearly really frustrated and cannot believe that we can't even tell the difference between jackets, sleeping bags and blankets.  Trying to diffuse him, I give him an actual blanket I just spotted on the couch.

Me: Here, Elijah, a blanket.
Elijah: (takes it with a sigh and goes to lie down with it over him.  Halfway to his chosen spot on the rug, changes his mind and runs back to Iggy): Look, Daddy!  Look! This! This is a blanket!! This.  This is.

Elijah shakes the blanket in front of Iggy demonstratively, until he is satisfied that Daddy had adequate time to memorize what blankets are.  And what they are not.

If he knew that nursing homes exist, I am sure he would be dialing the numbers to get Iggy and I into a facility for the mentally weak right now.  Thanks goodness we don't let him watch TV.

Me talk pretty

Elijah understands two languages, but speaks mostly one. He speaks Rushlish.

He can speak Russian a little, but only with English grammar. He has Russian word vocabulary and pronunciation down very well, and there are some words he mostly says in Russian. He knows their English equivalents, but uses the Russian ones, which causes some confusion with other English speakers. He will just insert these into an English sentence:

Slon (Elephant)

Oleni (Deer)

Zevayu (Yawning)

Oblaka (Clouds)

Shina (Car Tire)

Letit (Flying)

Dyadya (Uncle, or just a random grown man; sounds frustratingly close to Daddy to an English ear)

Zoopark (Zoo)
Mashina (Car, Machine, any sort of robotic thingy)

There are many more, I just can't think of them right now. It gets even more fun when he starts to try to decline/conjugate these in the English manner (Olenis, Zevayued, etc). I really need to make a conserted effort to teach him two real languages, rather than one jumbled Rushlish.

The experts in this say you are supposed to assign languages to people - so there should be one person who only speaks to the child in Russian. The problem is, none of us speak pure Russian or pure English. We also mix the words, mostly use English grammar or, in Russian, conjugate English words acccording to Russian grammar, and any of us, if forced to use one language only in its pure form would have a hard time.

So how in the world are we going to teach the kid to speak properly, in two distinct languages? Has anyone else done this?! Help!!

Oh-oh, he might be catching on.

Yesterday, we had this conversation.

Elijah (holding his toy dump truck): "fffffff-uck".
Me (cringing): "No, no, T-ruck.  Teeeee-ruck".
Elijah (giving me a sly look): "fffffffff-uck".
Me: "No! Teeeee-ruck!"

Elijah(with sly look turning to sly joy): "Fffff-uck teee-ruck!!"
and, before I can say anything else, he looks triumphant, throws up his hand and says:
"Ha! HIGH FIVE!!"
... and he high-fives me.  He looks very proud of himself.

I folded over laughing.  I couldn't help it.
So there you have it.  Not only does he say it, he now clearly gets that it sort of gets a rise out of people. Great. HIGH FIVE, Mom! Awesome job.